Off Facebook but now to Random Emails

I don't begin to understand it because I have to consult to figure out how to link things up but if you get random emails from the blog sorry just delete if you don't want to read. Somehow my technology expert tied my email contacts into my blog when he was trying to unlink it from facebook.
For those of you who asked me to link it to facebook I am taking it off because it is too public on there with pictures and stuff. Now I think you can only see it if you are linked through my email contacts or something like that according to my technical expert.
If you get emails and don't want them and its too much trouble to hit "delete" email me and he says he can take that contact off. We'll see my technical expert does nothing easily.

by the way my technical expert aka as bro

White Christmas

It's snowing again!!! Well its coming out snow and hitting the ground as a wet mush that forms puddles that when I step in gets my shoes wet that gets my socks wet that gets my feet wet that somehow manages to make my hands cold and so there you have it - I'm cold and in my office bored. Funny since yesterday was so crazy I was going crazy.

This is nothing on the wonderful snow that overtook Plainview last week. I don't know what Abilene was like - what I know is I left early wednesday afternoon from work and it was 72 degrees by the time I got to Snyder it was 35 and Post the snow started and I slid right on into Plainview. By morning there were drifts higher than my waste in our backyard and most stuff was about mid calf or higher on me. Oh and did I mention it was -3 degrees Christmas Eve morning? My nieces spent the night wed. night and of course wanted to play in it so I bundle them all up and well Karlee (3 1/2) made it for about 10 minutes but Brooke (18 months) who looks like the boy in Christmas Story and was walking around the house saying "hot" made it about 3 seconds the length of time it took for the wind to hit her face. This picture is not her crying it was how cold and windy it was. Also, I must say I had to borrow clothes off the parents and boots so no comments on what I have on.

Growing up I always dreamed of a White Christmas. After all that is what Bing Crosby and Elvis and all that other music my mom listened to after Thanksgiving on her 8 track adapter in the car sang about. I remember two. One we were in Tennessee at my grandparents and I told my cousin from Dallas all I wanted for Christmas was snow. He laughed and said that wasn't going to happen but guess what we got a good ole snow that night. The other time I was older and after we opened gifts we went to the movies. We came out and there was probably already a good 4 inches of snow on the ground. I love it. And then this year - wow I love White Christmases especially now I get to enjoy playing with the girls. So it was a fun time. Of course those two girls are so spoiled that the presents were piled in front of the fire place so no fire which would have made it perfect but I guess that equals no asthma attack either!! Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!!

Song I heard on radio today

I have heard this song before but today for some reason I listened to the first lyrics and it could not describe more accurately how I feel. Maybe some day I'll feel the same about the lyrics to the 2nd verse - actually when I think about it trust in the unseen is all that is keeping me going - If you haven't heard this song Never alone by Barlow Girl take a few minutes and listen to it

http://www.jango.com/music/BarlowGirl?l=0

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no
I needed you today
But where did you go
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

(Chorus:)I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
Cause you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
(Chorus)

Faith

I often wander how Paul can write through all his trials be joyful always. I don't like trials and yet it just seems like one thing after another. I've said before I feel like the arrows are coming too fast and lately I've not been sure my shield of faith is going to hold up. I've mentioned my friend here whose young daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. She has a caring bridge sight and she posted this about faith she read that really gave me a different perspective I so desperately needed. Its a good persepective for all of us so I share it....

From My Utmost for His Highest: "The Trial of Faith"
We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. But we do not earn anything through faith--faith brings us into the right relationship with God and gives Him the opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of your experience as His saint to get you in direct contact with Himself.
God wants you to understand it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment of His blessings. Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith being worked out into reality must experience times of unbroken isolation.
I must have a faith that says "I will remain true to God's character whatever He may do." The highest and greatest expression of faith in the Bible is--"Though He may slay me, yet I will trust Him." Job 13:15.

I'm Angry

Today I’m Angry

Kubler-Ross says there are five stages of grief. Denial, depression, bargaining, anger, and acceptance. These stages aren’t linear and often a stage is revisited many times. Today I’m angry.

What do I have to grief? It is not that easy – more what like what have I lost, what do I feel is gone or more realistically what am I trying to get over. I don’t know if anything makes since anymore. I know my heart hurts though. There are so many things we lose throughout our life but I think this is more about the me I’ve given up. The me that I’ve said I don’t want to live anymore. The me I keep bringing back to live even though that me is no more. I guess that is the denial – living like that me is still alive and well. I guess maybe sometimes it seems its alive but its not well. But then I ask am I even well.

So today I’m angry. Angry because I’m tired of being void of joy. Angry because life stinks. Angry because I’m tired of my heart hurting and me not understanding why and no matter what I do the laughter is shallow and fake and the hurt resurfaces even more intense than before. Hurt, depression, call it what you want.

Today I’m angry – because I know it will be back. And worse than yesterday. I pray earnestly it won’t but it comes anyway.

Today I’m angry because God isn’t answering my prayers the way I want them answered.

Today I’m angry because I don’t have someone to come home to that will hold me and tell me it is going to be ok.

Today I’m angry because I have friends that are hurting and I don’t know how to help them.

Today I’m angry because the me that is no more sometimes seemed easier, happier, less hurt, less frustration, less effort in trying not to control everything even though that me did control everything (whether in a good way or not).

Today I’m angry because no one understands; I don’t understand. I’m tired of trying to explain it; I’m tired of trying to figure it out myself.

Today I’m angry because it hurts to heal. And sometimes it never heals.

And just to make me laugh today I’m angry I didn’t see my friend wheeled around the ER in a neck brace.

Today I’m just angry.

Sweet Ava

A few weeks ago I drove way too many hours with the parentals, Mirm, and sweet Ava in the car all the way to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Mom's great family reunion was not even that bad. Ava is so sweet and precious and I loved getting to spend a whole week with her. Oh and yeah myother sister yep another baby on the way. I'm getting good at this aunt thing!!!

Oh and my dad has this song he sings about the bar....well we soon figured it out the bar is really bears and well we came through for him we saw a bear in this tree and then two cubs off the road. The one off the road the ranger started quoting laws at us that I'm pretty sure are not laws...whoever heard of the law you have to be 100 yards away from the bear. Considering these were two cubs and the momma was I'm sure around somewhere I am not sure 100 yards is far enough away!!!I love Ava in her baby Bjorn she is so cute!!

And I love this hat on her!!

Weekend with Nancy

Several several as in like 2 months ago my friend Nancy from Austin came and visited. She's one of the few Ernst & Young friends still actually in Austin - funny how spread out we are all now. She kept telling me she wanted to see Abilene and I kept telling her that would take all of about 20 minutes (which I think it took about 18). Somehow we ended up in Buffalo Gap and found a couple of forms of entertainment including the giant Armadillo at Perenis. At least I found somewhere to take my parents next time they come. I am pretty convinced that they could spend an hour in the old town chapel in Buffalo Gap it took us 3 minutes to walk through!! It was good to see you Nancy and come back!!! Ha!!!

Exhaustion

So all I've been looking forward to for a week now is a night without worry that the pager or work phone will go off. And now that that night is upon me I am so exhausted I can't sleep. My mind is just racing. There is just too much hurt in the world too much pain and my pain meter has overflowed.
Its funny we are pretty good at taking care of others or at least trying and some of us are really good at taking care of others. I'm really good at trying. So why don't we know how to take care of ourselves? Why am I so overwhelmed to the point of breaking and don't know what to do. And you think it has to end right? So you convince yourself (that good ole CBT therapy) that tomorrow will be better and so when there is more pain and suffering tomorrow it just adds to your pain meter as you try to care for the suffering and the cycle starts all over again.
So how do we learn to let go of it and let God take it before it kills us?
That is what is exhausting me tonight....

The Chaplain

What I really want to do is vent about how I am exhausted; how I had the worst on call ever (17 hours on sat) and how I got called out for backup on Sunday and how today that pager has already chirped too many times; and how I'm about to my breaking point but in honor of keeping it light - I'll just tell you about the chaplain.

First a brief insight into my job - I see suicidal, homicidal, and psychotic people all day long and help determine if they are safe to stay in the communicty or need to be in a psych hospital whether that be voluntary or involuntary. If hospitalization is the answer there is a rather lengthy process to go about this. If the client is in a medical hospital or ER the process is even longer. So I practically work at the ER, know probably 90% of the nurses, all the Doctors, most of the techs, and all the security (they often have to restrain our clients).

But apparently I did not know the most important person - The Chaplain.

Mind you this chaplain is part time at that but here is the story:

So Saturday it was me and one of our new employees who was shadowing me (who by the way was a trooper for hanging in there the whole time on the craziest day ever) and we had been paged up to the ER to help get a client into a hospital. As usual the nurses let me in and I go to my spot behind the nurses station over in the corner trying to stay out of the way. Especially, Saturday as they had a severe trauma going on where about five nurse including the charge nurse were occupied with this. So Jenny (my shadow) and I start going through the paper work and this old man with bald on top and then flowing white hair and a cast boot on his leg starts yelling at us "who are you?" Now this guy is standing with his side to me, I've never seen him before, and he is standing by a patients door. Now in the world of HIPPA I am very careful not to tell people who I am because if they know I am there for mental health and see me entering a patient's room - well let's just say there is still often a stigma. So I said to this guy that I had been called there by a nurse. He again yelled "Are you an employee of the ER?" I said "No". He said "Identify yourself" I told him my name, He said "identify who you work for" and I tried to nicely tell him I was not obligated to do this. He then started yelling "Yes you are get out of the ER now you can not be in here OUT!!" then he charged at us (luckily the counter was in between us) and started yelling more. Well when he charged us I saw his Hospital badge. I told him, "sir if you had told me you worked for the hospital when I asked I would have explained to you why I am here" He just yelled more so I said "sir I am going to go get a nurse" and I took off to try and get away and try and get help.
I come back and he is gone so I tell Jenny wow that was wierd. All the techs who were watching were like something is wrong with him. So then he comes back. We had picked up the phone to call the psych hospital and he pushes us out of the way grabs the phone and starts yelling how he told us to leave the ER and we didn't so he was going to call security. I told him I would be more than happy for him to call security and he grabs me and says come on I am taking you upstairs to security. I told him I was not obligated to go with him but to stay here and do my job and so me and Jenny moved down to another phone. Security comes and talks with him and I assume calms him down. By now Doctors and the charge nurse are also trying to calm him down and I'm just trying to get out of the way.
So they all leave and we are on the phone with the pysch hospital and he comes over irate again and says he wants to apologize. However, he was yelling about how when he tells me to leave the ER I better do it and he was so loud Jenny had to put the psych hospital on hold. I told him that I would appreciate it if he leaves me alone that I am not going to argue with him. Security came and got him again and escorted him out. The Security officer came back and said he thinks it might possibly be low blood sugar since he is a diabetic which at least makes me feel a little better but after all he is a chaplain.
I was extremely embarrassed already at my breaking point all the nurses felt horrible for us I felt bad Jenny had to see all that. Now I'm sure we will just always laugh at the story. When I had to go back up there Sat. night and last night the nurses would come up pretending to yell at me to get out of the ER so at least I can provide them some laughter at my expense.
So if you ever need the chaplain at Hendricks with flowing white hair (kind of looks crazy himself) Oh yeah I didn't mention he was yelling about crazy people being up in the ER trying to take over; anyway just make sure he's had enough insulin!!!

An Apology

This is an apology to all of my friends that have ever read a rambling email from me. My friends at EY used to make so much fun of me because I just wrote emails as I thought. That is void of punctuation and grammar and capitalization. Believe it or not I actually try to half way do those things on this blog. And besides I secretly think they loved reading my emails. Anyway, today I got an email from a person that was very rambly. Now granted this person was manic but reading that and trying to decipher what they meant made me realize how fun all of you must have had reading those great emails from me!!! So this is my apology!! Notice I did not say I would quit doing it but I will apologize for all past emails and future emails that are fun to decipher!!!

Lori this post is especially for you!!!

The Kennedys

I may not always agree with the Kennedys but there is no doubt they have had a huge influence on America. I was not alive when JFK was shot but I can tell you almost as much about it as people who were alive. My mom describes it very similiar to what for me is probably 911 or the Challenger exploding. I remember when Jackie died - it was right before our band trip to Washington D.C. and I remember seeing the eternal flame over her grave at Arlington Cemetary. Then I remember being at Camp and hearing about John Jr. dying in the plane crash. Everyone knows about the Kennedy curse and the popularity of the Kennedys.
Or so I thought.....
So this week when the news broke that Teddy had passed away I was shocked how many people (some my age) did not know who that was or that he was JFKs brother. I had somebody ask me why are they making a big deal of a Congressman? and believe it or not I actually had (now granted they were 19) but someone say who are the Kennedys? I was like JFK and he was like "yeah don't know him"
Amazing!! and sad very sad...
Well I find Teddy Kennedy's service in Arlington Cemetary important enough to miss the beginning of the Cowboys game and watch live on TV (granted the Cowboys game was being DVRed). Like I said I may not always agree with the Kennedys but I love their love and passion for this country and how they fought for what they believed in. That is so much of what makes them a legend.

An Amazing Promise

So I saw this post on one of my friends facebook walls, "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." and I have really been thinking about it. Assuming this came from something longer I googled it and this is what I found:


The Will of God will never take you
Where the Grace of God cannot keep you
Where the Arms of God cannot support you
Where the Riches of God cannot support your needs
Where the Power of God cannot endow you.

The Will of God will never take you
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you
Where the Wisdom of God cannot teach you
Where the Army of God cannot protect you
Where the Hands of God cannot mold you.

The Will of God will never take you
Where the Love of God cannot enfold you
Where the Mercies of God cannot sustain you
Where the Peace of God cannot calm your fears
Where the Authority of God cannot overrule you.

The Will of God will never take you
Where the Comfort of God cannot dry your tears
Where the Word of God cannot feed you
Where the Miracles of God cannot be done for you
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

~ author unknown ~

So I was on call last night. I had to go to Stamford (that is a spot in the road about 45 miles I think North of Abilene; I know its North but it might be NE or NW I don't know) Anyway, I thought a lot about this. The past couple of years have been tough. I've prayed a lot a whole lot for things to happen and while I guess I pray for things to happen my way because it is what I'm asking I also know I want God's will too because I know that is the best. Its just that sometimes what I want and God's will just aren't jiving and I feel like I'm not going to make it sometimes. The verse in II Corinthians about God's grace being sufficient has been formost in my mind the past month and it is taking on a whole new meaning to me. Not only is God's grace sufficient but he isn't going to put anything in my path I can't handle because it is His spirit living in me and His grace will handle it; it is big enough.

I am reminded this with several things going on. Two of my friends have had big huge medical issues with their kids. Mandy's daughter Tatum http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tatumkate and my friend Rachel's newborn http://www.prayingforbabyluke.blogspot.com/ if you want to follow these amazing stories are two stories that are reminding me daily that God's grace is bigger than our wills.

I have been struggling with whether to take some medication for some things going on in my personal life. I hate taking meds. HATE IT!! Especially long term. I knew more about Advair than the Advair company did when I started taking it for asthma. There are a variety of options I have now and I can tell you the possible side effects and I don't like them. I think about Mandy's daughter Tatum. 3 years old diagnosed with leukemia. I know they didn't want her to have to take all those steroids that made her bloated and mean nor do they want to do this next round of chemo where she might lose her hair and who knows what else. So I was thinking about that and thinking that maybe my will of not wanting to take meds is getting in the way of God's grace being able to do something cool because they will help me feel better.

I don't know I think on some degree we all struggle with this. I am stubborn and want things my way. After all I know best I know myself; hmmm maybe I don't know best, maybe my creator knows best...I think my heart is starting to finally catch on that God's grace is big enough that He won't let me go down a path I can't recover from, He will protect me take care of me, sustain me, provide peace.

What an amazing promise!!!

Karlee at Camp Blue Haven

Well I am back in the 100 degree weather in Abilene but after a great session!! As most of you all know I took Karlee with me this year - that is my niece that turned 3 the Saturday before we left. I started getting worried when I got to Plainview Friday night to pick her up and she didn't have much to do with me and her mom and dad started telling me everything to do and they also informed me that she is potty trained with two exceptions. One she still can't get up at night and go yet but they solve that with a pull up so good there. Exception 2 - she does not go poopy in the potty. In fact she spiked up and said "Aunt Beka I don't get to go to McDonald's until I go poopy in the potty" I'm thinking what a motivation I would never bother messing with it but I guess a 3 year old has more appreciation for McDonald's than me. Well as you can imagine I really begin second guessing this cleaning up the poopy in the panties but I'm an expert now and by the end could do it without a mess.

The secret to Karlee's success and happiness is two fold - one lots and lots of princess sippy cups of milk and the DVD player shown above. As long as you put Bambi or the Little Mermaid or Loony Tunes in she was happy. At first she was clingy but soon loosened up. She really was really good loved being around all the other kids and I had fun with her and I think she had fun. She is pretty laid back but takes after me in not being a morning person but DOES not take after me in eating the dirt, mud, play dough etc. Milk and play - a complete balanced meal. Oh and she LOVES going potty in the woods. Already learning the "tree squat" she will one day make a good counselor.

Also, a shout out to Kitchypooh for the letter and stickers and to Joy for the package. Where were the rest of all my friends???!!! ha!!!
Here are some pics of Karlee enjoying camp.

This was silly songs night Yes for you Austin people -free advertising for Temple Inland

Karlee likes getting up in the morning less than her Aunt if that is believable.

Twins day - Karlee wanted to be a tea pot so my mom made us these skirts and we wore these outfits and she sang the song loudly (I was afraid she wouldn't) and we won. She picked a scrap book for a prize over the CBH teddy bear. Shows that you never know what 3 year olds will do.

The kids loved climbing on these 4 wheelers. They liked riding better that just rarely happened. There was lots of begging from Mr. George for a ride on the Mule.

Talent show - I think she sang like 4 songs and was quite the entertainment.

The pictures below are of the big 6 flag like swing at the ropes course. This was what she talked about the WHOLE session and finally the last day the weather was good enough to do it. She loves it and she goes higher than I like to go!!!

10 Reasons to stay Single

I know I promised but did not deliver so my friend Becky Bell delivered:

1. You don't have to share that money!
2. Can go on extended vacations (these can be mission trips-or not) without worrying about anyone except maybe a neurotic animal.
3. No worries about your partner's stinky socks, farts, and otherwise general smelliness.
4. You learn to enjoy your own company.
5. Some may not consider this a benefit, BUT you get to spend more time with your own family (no sharing of holidays and such, and no mother-in-law!).
6. You can be lazy and/or sloppy and no one will care.
7. More time for volunteerism.
8. Can read late into the night without bothering anyone with the light on.
9. No pulling boyfriend's/husband's "feelings" out of him like teeth.
10. More readily available to plan things/come see your friends in AR on a moment's notice!! ;)

I could not have done it any better.

Oh and Michelle going to camp Friday I am sure you have not lost the address you know Karlee and I will need snail mail!!!

10 Years Ago

I cannot believe that it has been 10 years since I walked across that stage and joined grownup land. (Friends have fun at the class reunion this fall - sorry I can't attend!!! ha!!) I also can't believe it has been 10 years since I was a counselor at camp. Its amazing how out of shape you can get in 10 years!!!!

I was thinking how much the world has changed since then. Here are some of the things that I have now that were not even a thought then:

1) A walking computer in my hand in the form of a cell phone - now granted we had cell phones in college but they were the Zack Morris type from Saved by the Bell and had about 20 minutes on them to be used for emergency purposes only. And don't even dream of long distance calling. In fact from a land line long distance was still .25 cents a minute and if you used it a lot you could get it for .18 cents a minute. Texting - never even heard of. As far as computers go I was so impressed I got a laptop (that was huge mind you) when I started at EY and also don't forget there was definately no networking or getting on high speed internet with that laptop.

2) A tiny walkman called an Ipod. When I was in college we were still trying to reconcile the advantage of the CD walkman types that would jump if you ran and were bulky with the cassette walkmans. Watching a movie anywhere you are or listening to more than 18 songs without having to change media unimaginable

3) DVR - if we had one of these in college we would not have had to plan social meetings around Friends, ER, Seinfeld, and Frasier and we would not have had to plan dinner around the Duke boys.

4) Email account - ok I got one my senior year but couldn't figure out how to work it because you had to stand in line for hours in the computer lab and then only got to get on the brand new amazing internet for about 15 minutes at a time. Yep professors and everyone communicated through the good ole snail mail back in the day oh so long ago...

5) Digital cameras - How I would have loved to have one of these when I was at HUF (Harding University in Florence, Italy).

6) Gas at over $1.00 a gallon - I remember being in Europe where gas was like $1.20 a gallon and we would talk about how expensive it was. In fact we often drove 15 miles or so to get gas for .74 cents a gallon. This was only 10 years ago hard to believe!!! Now you can look up the cheapest gas station with some simple touches on the IPhone.

7) Online shopping - please we didn't even have email accounts

8) GPS - I'm sure these existed but not for the general public. Even my parents have a "tom tom"

9) Airport Security - I never took off my shoes, put my liquids in a plastic bag, or got randomly screened in college. In fact other than the metal detector security might have been non existant and there was definately not the tight security at ball games and other public events.

10) Facebook, blog, myspace, twitter - ok you name them we didn't have them. Or instant messaging for that matter. If you wanted to communicate with me when I was a counselor you wrote me a letter put a US stamp on it and put it in the mail and I would get it two weeks later. Now its instant communication just go write on my wall and it will know to send me an email or a text message that someone wants to tell me something (that is usually not important at all!!)

I wonder what we will think about all of these things in 10 years from now!!!

Alive and Well and Ava is Perfect

Well if I had remembered I linked this blog to facebook I might not have posted a fever post but since it is I am alive and well with only some slight bronchitus. More importantly Ava is precious.

Adult Fever - How high is too high?

So an interesting question is coming up for me tonight. As much time as I spend in the ER you would think I would just call one of my nursing buddies up or Ms. Judy my favorite nurse practioner but no I just sit here and do research on the internet.

So I've had what I at first thought was allergies, then a cold, and today a sinus infection since Monday. It has gotten steadily worse. I was taking some cold medicine along with the allergy medicine to no avail and today it was so bad I started self medicating myself with some antibiotics I had for a sinus infection that I never used (I know some of you med people are cringing). I have deligently checked my fever and it has been my normal 97.5 even this morning. Ms. Judy listened to my lungs today and heard only a little possibly "deterioration" in the right lung so I'm thinking I'm all set.

Well I get home and start to feel really bad. In fact so bad on the drive home I did not even stop to get gas and I'm on empty. I come home and I have 98.3 fever which is fever for me. I lay down and pop some advil. I wake up 30 minutes later and its 100.2 uh oh. I go fill up my car and try to do laundry getting ready to go see Ava tomorrow in Little Rock. I am feeling worse so I take it again - 102.9. Now that just has to be wrong so I do it again 102.8. This is a digital thermometer and I must have rinsed it in too hot of water so I rinse it in alcohol. 103.0.

So my dad always says get under the covers of your bed and sweat it out so I get in a hot shower. It felt good on the lungs and stuff. Now just for kicks I took it again when I got out 105.9 - I know that is wrong so I waited 45 minutes and took it again 102.9. Maybe the equate advil brand does not really work so I popped some Tylenol and we'll see.

I may have to call those nurses because I can't be sick for Ava!!!

10 Things that Stink about Being Single

yes being single has many many benefits but today I have thought of about 100 reasons why I wish I had a guy to come home to so here are 10 things that immediately come to my mind that stink about not having that amazing man to come home to:

1) There is no one to come home to and hold you and listen to you vent after a horrible day.
2) There is no one to put in new sinks, fix your toilet flusher, re rout the air conditioner drain, and all those other little projects (including mowing the yarn) that are part of owning a house
3) You have to call someone and beg them to come over and help you when you need something heavy moved or any other job that requires to people
4) You have to cuddle with your pillows and bed spread when you get cold
5) If you are cooking and realize you are missing an ingredient you either have to make do or shut everything off and go get it yourself
6) There is no one to give you a pseudo pedicure after a long day on your feet
7) There is no one to give you added security when you are paged in the middle of the night and you think you hear weird sounds and you have to walk out in the dark yourself not knowing what animals, bugs, snakes, or people are lurking out there.
8) There is no one to take the covers off the water meter and sprinkler box to check for the numerous rattlesnakes in our area of town for you. Especially when I am deathly afraid of snakes.
9) Of course there is no sex
10) There is no one to meet you at the door to tell you everyday how wonderful and amazing you are.

Maybe soon will come a top 10 benefits of being single!!!

C. Jaye for You

What is Chumbawamba? was the answer for the following clue on Jeopardy today, "I get knocked down but I get up again." All three of them missed it and I about died laughing.

Sorry for most of you who don't have a clue what the above means!!!

Colorado Girl's Trip

It has been like 7 or 8 years (sorry I can't remember exactly when your wedding was C.Jaye) since all 4 of us college buddy girls have been together. I've seen them all at different points over the years but this was the year for the reunion!!! So we all planned to head out west to C. Jaye's hood in Denver. We all met and ventured to a really awesome time share in Estes Park for a night took a little scenic beautiful drive up through Rocky Mountain National Park, and then did some hiking/snow hiking around beautiful Bear Lake. We saw a lot of Elk it is amazing how big they are and we even listened to C. Jaye's expert elk call which I will post as a video (although it is difficult to hear and does not give C. Jaye's abilities justice). Then we headed back to Denver. The next day we hung out with C. Jaye's very cute twins (how I managed to not get a picture of them I'm not sure) by taking them to the Denver Art Museum. I'll be honest I thought this was going to be a major mistake but the girls (did I mention they are 3) were so well behaved and believe it or not stayed at the museum, although entertained by the kids activities, for over 1 hour and a half. Then we were going to go to the Rockie's Baseball game but mother nature opened up the thunderclouds and so instead we headed back to our car through what Michelle termed swine flu muck of water in the street. We all had flip flops on so there was no keeping the feet dry and clean. The trip was awesome and so relaxing and it was very very hard to go back to work today. Maybe next time we won't wait 8 years. Here are some pictures.
C. Jaye's Elk Call I wish this captured the true essence

I just thought I had good insurance

So remember those blogs about being allergic to milk and the hives and going to the allergist etc. Well here is an update. So I go to the allergist and miraculously I did not have a single spot after having spots for 6 days straight and the only thing that helped was Benadryl. So after the Dr. either very patiently listened to me (or at least is a good actor) and my concerns and my feeble attempts to discover what I am allergic to he came up with a full plan. First we would start with patch testing which would take a week, then skin testing another week, and then blood testing another week. All things I've been through and discovered some allergies are bad (watermelon and I don't care I eat it anyway) and some not so bad (tomatos and I eat Salsa anyway) but anyway he is the Dr. so I was like ok.

Of course I quickly informed him I was NOT interested in allergy shots to which he replied that he suggested I take Zyrtec or some other antihistimine and no matter what we find this is probably what I would have to do anyway on a continuing basis.

About the best thing he did say is that it probably was not milk.

So I go meet with this lady and set up all these appointments which I was thinking I am going to miss so much work. Then the nice lady said call your insurance they should cover it but just make sure.

Well if I ever wanted an out I got one.

I called my insurance company and this great cheap insurance at $32 a month I thought I had - well guess what it considers that allergy issues are NOT medical necessities. So that means that I have a $500 deductible to pay plus they will only pay 20% of my co-insurance. The lady said that I have to bring $800 to the first patch testing appointment but that the total would probably end up being about $1900 to $2200 depending on the results.

Well here is my response: No thankyou I will pay my $17 for my 45 Zyrtec that will last me two months and save my $2200 I don't have for something more productive to get an answer that I should still take Zyrtec everyday.

I hope asthma is considered a medical necessity!!!

My Partial Tax Money Returned

So its in the disguise of an IRS check for buying a new home and I realize only a few are getting it but belive me I'm not going to complain when the IRS decides to give back some of the tax money I've put in for policies and spending I don't agree with. I think it might be close to 1%!! Of course it is all going to have to go straight to an IRA fund since the tax money we all pay will be gone and no social security anymore. Who knows if it will really happen; the government always seems to find a way to keep it going and increase the government debt which in turn several years down the road will increase our taxes the never ending ugly cycle. Needless to say there are more important things in life so even with the synacism of this post it is Memorial Day and government functioning put aside Thankyou to all who have sacrificed for the safety of this country that is blessed beyond what we realize.

Pictures of the House

Long awaited I am sure but the parentals are coming in about one hour so you know that equals cleaning. And yes those are UT (University of Texas for you fans of UT Vols) but I orange just is what goes best so...

She's HERE

Ava Elizabeth Berryhill is here as of about 3:50 yesterday. She is 7 lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches long (taking after her dad on that length but apparently her mom on the looks). As Mirm says she looks like Granny Shoey (what Karlee calls my mom) and as Doug says she looks like the Hamiltons (that is my mom's side of the family). I asked Doug how she is and he says fantastic!!! I think my parents are sad they weren't there and I know I can't wait to meet her in July. My parents are on there way tomorrow after a stop over here so I'm sure there will be more pics to come. If you are facebook friends with Mirm or Doug he has put some pics on their facebook.

Because I aim to please

Some of you asked and I deliver:

The guy that made the podcasts name is Robert Ullrey. His website is
http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/

I downloaded my podcast free off of I-tunes and use my ipod but I know there are other formats as well.

He based his podcasts off of the plan from www.coolrunning.com
There is some pretty good information and tips on that sight.

For those of you who informed me 5k is not very far and that is easy here is a link to a 10k plan

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1462924

just google those phrases for more options - good luck my friends.

Oh and yeah Jerry Love (who challenged the whole accounting firm I work out to exercise and even has incentives every month) I'm going to be in the drawing from May on so get ready!!!

Apology for my green pants

Ok folks so I know you are all probably getting tired of seeing me in the green army looking faded pants that I try to pass off as casual dress pants and casual casual pants and hang out pants but that is all my lard butt fits in right now. Actually, the walking and diet does help because now I can fit into a pair of black pants so now you will see every other day black pants instead of green pants - exciting huh?

I am refusing to buy new clothes because it is motivation that I have to have something to wear.

So some of you have been asking what I am doing. My friend Jaime introduced me to couch to 5K in 8 weeks by Robert Ullerey (I think that is how you spell it). He has a podcast that I've downloaded. The music isn't too bad either. I've done the first week and the first day I thought I was going to die but it gets easier. And it is pretty embarrasing that I thought I was going to die when I tell you the first day you walk for 5 minutes then you run/walk for 60 second/90 second intervals. It does not sound hard but I guess that is how out of shape I am.

I have never been able to run much because I always suck wind so hard and I think I have to go from nothing to running miles and so I get discouraged and just stop. So I think this is going to be good for me to learn to take it slow and let my body build up strength and stamina. I want to hike Barrias at Camp this year. It is the only hike I've never been on. Now convincing either 3 year old Karlee to go or someone to watch her may be a different story but we'll cross that path in July.

So when I'm out exercising I just put in my head mental pictures (these are not hallucinations) of Bob and Jillian screeming at me and then an image of Michelle from last season before and after and it helps me work through the I"m tired and don't want to do this anymore syndrome.

More updates to come I'm sure.

I don't know what I'll do when I can't fit in the green pants anymore because they are too big. I do love those pants!!!

The Laws - Two Very Special People

Meet Alvin and Daisy Law. I think a lot of people growing up have special couples in their lives that they are close to and mean the world to them. For our family that is Alvin and Daisy. Since both sets of my grandparents have passed away my brother asked Alvin and Daisy to walk in his wedding this weekend as his grandparents. That is how special they are to us.

My first memory of Alvin and Daisy is riding with them and their granddaughter Shelly to camp for my first year as a camper. I remember it vividly because we got stuck. The Laws have a cabin in the Blue which is the Canyon of Blue Haven cabin owners. There is a steep hill to get from Camp into the Blue Canyon called Red Flag Hill. Back in the day Red Flag was a steep mud fest of a hill and so everytime it rained - well let's just say it can get interesting now and they have improved the roads. Anyway, we were trucking along back then when I think I was going into the 5th grade in a pickup truck with a camper on the top of it, already dark at night doing what two 10 year old girls do when I remember hearing the spin of tires and then looking out the window and going backwards down this steep narrow muddy hill. Needless to say Alvin is the man and got out got the chains on and we made it to the cabin that night. I've spent every summer since at some point as a camper, cook, counselor, teacher, or visitor on the porch visiting with Alvin and Daisy at their cabin not to mention multiple nights in their visitor mini cabin.

Their cabin is famous amongst Blue Haven Camper's for the Oasis and the nature trail Alvin built along the Blue creek that gives campers a break from the hot road when hiking. Daisy was famous to my cabin because she would always have my cabin over for homeade ice cream or watermelon. They treat us just like we are one of their own grandkids.

Alvin and Daisy also live in Plainview where I grew up. I remember going over to their house and playing dominos and just seeing them at church when they would get back from the mountains and be so excited Alvin and Daisy were back.

Alvin ran the bus station in Plainview. When I worked at my dad's store we would often have to take packages to ship to other stores to the bus station and I always looked forward to seeing Alvin. My brother is especially special to them. They adored him. Alvin would take him on his bus routes. And at the wedding this weekend I can already see my nieces are having just as special a relationship. Brooke hung out with Alvin and Daisy for about 2 hours while everybody else was running around making this day perfect. She loved it and they loved it.

Alvin and Daisy told me Saturday they look forward to going up to their cabin at camp in a week and seeing me later in the summer. It has been hard watching them get older and their health deteriorate. In fact they told me this may be their last summer up there. I can't imagine Blue Haven without them. Without Daisy's sweetness motherly caring and Alvin's jokes and orneryness!! Most of all I respect them and will never forget the example of a Christian they have shown me and so many others. There love for each other is so apparent They are fun, loving, and most gracious and I can't wait to see them very soon in the Sangr de Cristo Mountains at Camp!!!

Already won Brooke over.

The Wedding

Well it is official: I'm the only single one left in the Scott Family and believe me I hear about it!!! My brother got married this weekend. It was a very pretty wedding and great getting to spend time with the family. Mirm despite being 9 months pregnant and due in like 2 1/2 weeks made the long trek from Cabot (Little Rock) with Doug and managed to not entertain everyone by having Ava Elizabeth this weekend. I guess we'll wait a couple of more. Other than Brittany (the Bride) Karlee my little niece and flower girl definitely stole the show. She came down the aisle so well including the bright blue pacifier she dug out of the flower basket where my sister buried it and told her she could have it after she "threw all the flowers." She solved the problem the minute Rachel left to go sit down she threw all the flowers on the ground got her pacifier and then picked all the flowers back up and said, "I get to throw them again" Then when she got to the front she was supposed to go sit with Rachel. Well she couldn't find Rachel and didn't know what to do and people were telling her to go to her mom so she turned around and ran back up the aisle to where she last saw her mom. It was so funny and cute - leave it to my niece!!! I think she really did a great job for a 2 1/2 year old. Of course my favorite thing about the wedding was that it was fast super fast. From start to finish of reception and getting in the car and everything was less than 2 hours. Right up my alley.

Oh and how could I possibly not talk about the groom's cake. I was very impressed with my brother's friend that made this cake. This ship is actually cake too. Chocolate. Very impressive they should be a cake decorator. Of course nobody wanted to cut into the ship so it ended up at the end of the wedding in the back of my parents car!!!

It was also fun to watch Uncle Doug play with Brooke since this was the first time he met her and with Karlee who he has only seen once. I think he passed the preliminary dad test!!! It is not very often our whole family gets to be together so we really had a good time. Here are some pictures from the weekend.

The Siblings
Yes I don't have shoes on I have never liked wearing them why change now!!
Brooke has some of the greatest facial expressions

and of course Karlee still has to give her a run for her money

Asleep in Uncle Doug's lap

Our whole family all together - a very rare event

Karlee loves her Mac and Cheese and "Bac Bac" aka chicken

Even pregnant woman has to swing

Brooke meeting her Uncle Doug

Prego lady still can make the faces