I’ve always believed that doubt leads to increased faith. But what happens when that doubt takes over in such a strong way that the faith is choked out. It is similar to the weeds in my back yard that are choking out my grass. You’d think you wouldn’t have to mow weeds but they grow faster than grass and hoeing, pulling, and roundup does not seem to phase them. Ok sorry tangent.
So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about faith and doubt and trust and how all this correlates in the struggle in my life and my friend’s lives and in this world. These are my thoughts/views/what I’m jumbling around in my mind and heart.
I’m not a person that just automatically trusts people and yet I do. There are so many times I put my trust in other people and don’t even think about it. For instance when I’m driving down the road I am going to trust the person in the lane next to me is going to not come crashing into me. While that may be a more superficial trust there is a trust based on relationships. Little kids that are from a healthy family trust their parents with everything they have. You see it when something scares them. They don’t come running to their aunt or a stranger but to their mother. But if their mother is not there and a familiar person (like their aunt) is there then they will go to that person because they trust the familiar and then that builds a trust that that person they ran to will protect them and keep them safe. Trust is based on historical facts, circumstances, events, etc. Once you trust a person you don’t lose trust in them until something happens that makes you doubt that trust.
Faith though seems so different to me. Faith is based upon something that might be or might not be but you choose to believe it is. But yet it is so much bigger than that. Faith is based upon a desire for a relationship. I’ve been reading Hebrews lately and so confused and frustrated. I read Hebrews 11 last night and it was timely. Of course this is well known as the faith chapter but when I read it things just hit home. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” And then it goes on to explain how so many people had faith. Sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I don’t see God. Oh I see nature and people and all these things that a Christian believes God created but that is the faith. I could just as easily have faith in evolution or whatever other path I want.
So the question for me becomes – how does doubt evolve to faith? So when things start not making since and doubt is overwhelming with is this real, is this a game, do we do this to make us feel good to have a way to explain things, do we teach ourselves things to say when things happen so that whatever we have ingrained in our system to believe in will make since? What happens when we start wondering how the Bible really comes together and was Jesus someone that just hacked off the Romans and the Jews who were living in a domination system and they got rid of him. When we start questioning the whys of this life does God have a plan what is that plan etc. what do you do? How do help someone overcome their doubt. Like the man in Mark 9 that begged Jesus, “Help me overcome my unbelief!” What is interesting is in the same sentence the same man that just asked Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief he leads off with “I do believe”. Seems so contradictory but maybe that is where the hope is. That believe that doubt that trust based on what we do see will lead to faith.
Back to the tangent…last year when I moved in I remember thinking the weeds were out of control but as the grass grew in it took over and eventually the weeds were not as apparent. I guess they were still there and sometimes more dominant than the grass – seems how that is what faith and doubt are for me. Who knows maybe one day there will be no weeds.
