Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Down
Ok I'm admiting right now tonight is about me needing encouragement and many of you that read this are a source of encouragement to me. I guess we all go through phases of doubt and frustration and low self-confidence but for some reason I'm in a phase and I can't shake it. It is wierd to go through a profession for 7 years and be so full of confidence and the center of attention and the top dog and come to a place that demands a humility I'm not sure I have. I can ace my tests and get good grades but I walk into a therapy session and I clam. I feel confident walking in and then something overcomes me I can't explain. Its wierd because I'll try to get something out and I feel it comes out like mumbo jumbo ( a big jumbled up mess that makes no sense) I've said now for a year I don't miss EY and the world of accounting except for the cool travel but I think I do miss a huge part of it and it is the confidence it brought into my life. So I'm sitting around questioning what in the world I have done coming here thinking I can help people when I inside try to be so emotionless. So I know this is a downer but I need encouragement because I'm doubting myself. Probably just a phase but I've been thinking that like a month now. So there is my honesty and one more thing I have to say GO SPURS!!!
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3 comments:
Rebekah, reading your blog makes me think that maybe this is a test of your faith. It is great to have a job that makes you feel confident and that comes naturally to you(like E&Y) but maybe God put this job on your heart so you could COMPLETELY surrender to him. Maybe he wants you to know that all that you are - all your confidence should come from him.
I don't know if this encourages you or not but it is what came to mind.
I'll be praying for you.
I think what you're feeling is very normal for therapists. I still struggle with walking into a room and thinking, "You're coming to me for help?!" I often feel like I haven't said the right things or given the right feedback to my clients. Then one of them will tell me how much I've helped them & I get a little boost. Anytime they say something like that, I know God has given me the right words. Just trust him to use you and don't let Satan tell you lies that make you doubt yourself.
Bek, you have been thinking about this change for so long... I think God has been calling you to where you are. But, I'm not the expert on you. I love you and I am praying for you while you're in this leap of faith experience.
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