I love roller coasters that is probably an understatement. I love the slow climb to the top and then the free fall with the wind blowing my contacts dry and the jerking and arms in the air everything I love it but this week I found out what an emotional rollercoaster was like and I can't say I'm a fan.
It all started out when Steve called me Sunday and was sick and wouldn't be able to lead Celebrate Recovery (see favorites for more info on this). I agreed to do the talk forgetting how much I'm not a fan of standing up in front of others talking but it went well and hopefully the attendees have a place of safety to find support. I won't go into all the emotions CR brings up in my personal life but just summarize that that is an emotional roller coaster with in a big one.
Then stressful day on Monday with clients which I won't expand on and a project due in class. We get it done and Tuesday was a slow climb to the top and the beggining of the free fall and it was busy but good. Wednesday started out good screaming as the end was in sight but soon the jerking began and man between all of us class mates needing a break and a rather emotional tense hard session I was barreling out of control. Things got better Thursday and Friday as I met friends for coffee, lunch, and just relaxed and had fun and somehow my clients all figured out to cancel because I needed a break!!! But there was even some drama thrown in there Thursday afternoon with my externship and a trip to the doctor well that is all I have to say about that. But then finally last night the week screeched to a happy halt as a bunch of us gathered and watched Elf a great funny Christmas movie (well I could personally do without the last 10 minutes or so but the rest is hilarious)!!! One thing I was reminded of is the treasure of the people in this program and the friends and support that I have. Here are some pictures from last night and something I wrote that pretty much sums up the difficult sessions of the week....
Sometimes this is what I scream up when I feel inadequate trying to offer clients a glimmer of hope:
Do you look down and see my inadequacies?
When I don't know what to say
Or where to go
When a soul sits in front of me
Crying out for help
And I have no answers
My offering of hope seems so shallow
Do you see me?
Do you?
Do you hear my babblings?
My searching for questions to ask to pass the time
because I don't know what to say or to do-
I don't know what wisdom to impart
Do you feel the ache in my heart?
Are you the one that allows the tears to well up
As part of me empathizes and feels for the hurting and oppressed
While another part of me sees how you have so blessed me.
How do I relate?
How do I sit in their presence?
Where will I find wisdom?
Do I have the strenght to hold it together?
The patience to be patient?
How do I offer hope?
Is there even hope?
It all started out when Steve called me Sunday and was sick and wouldn't be able to lead Celebrate Recovery (see favorites for more info on this). I agreed to do the talk forgetting how much I'm not a fan of standing up in front of others talking but it went well and hopefully the attendees have a place of safety to find support. I won't go into all the emotions CR brings up in my personal life but just summarize that that is an emotional roller coaster with in a big one.
Then stressful day on Monday with clients which I won't expand on and a project due in class. We get it done and Tuesday was a slow climb to the top and the beggining of the free fall and it was busy but good. Wednesday started out good screaming as the end was in sight but soon the jerking began and man between all of us class mates needing a break and a rather emotional tense hard session I was barreling out of control. Things got better Thursday and Friday as I met friends for coffee, lunch, and just relaxed and had fun and somehow my clients all figured out to cancel because I needed a break!!! But there was even some drama thrown in there Thursday afternoon with my externship and a trip to the doctor well that is all I have to say about that. But then finally last night the week screeched to a happy halt as a bunch of us gathered and watched Elf a great funny Christmas movie (well I could personally do without the last 10 minutes or so but the rest is hilarious)!!! One thing I was reminded of is the treasure of the people in this program and the friends and support that I have. Here are some pictures from last night and something I wrote that pretty much sums up the difficult sessions of the week....
Sometimes this is what I scream up when I feel inadequate trying to offer clients a glimmer of hope:Do you look down and see my inadequacies?
When I don't know what to say
Or where to go
When a soul sits in front of me
Crying out for help
And I have no answers
My offering of hope seems so shallow
Do you see me?
Do you?
Do you hear my babblings?
My searching for questions to ask to pass the time
because I don't know what to say or to do-
I don't know what wisdom to impart
Do you feel the ache in my heart?
Are you the one that allows the tears to well up
As part of me empathizes and feels for the hurting and oppressed
While another part of me sees how you have so blessed me.
How do I relate?
How do I sit in their presence?
Where will I find wisdom?
Do I have the strenght to hold it together?
The patience to be patient?
How do I offer hope?
Is there even hope?
2 comments:
I'm praying that you have more ups than downs this week :)
Hey Bek. You may have commented weeks ago, but I just read it! And I had no idea Kelly found me, either! She has never posted. So now I can keep tabs on both of you! I love blogger networking. Keep in touch!
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